Painkillers and Braids
by CrazyClumsyCoco15
Summary: Light admires his prettiness and signs up for the Mr. Japan contest, L is injected by painkiller and he tries to eat a steering wheel.That's not the end of it,as Light gets the cold too. Could he reveal his identity under the effect of that awesome drug?
1. Donuts, Braids and Bouncy Doctors

**Heyyyy, your schizophrenic author is baaaack (moi). This is my first crack-fic and I kind of like it. The characters are OOC but that's probably the point of crack-fics**

**It was so exhausting to write and I decided to write it instead of studying for my mid-year exams, so I'd appreciate it if you read and review!**

**I really really hope you like it.**

**Enjoy**

Light Yagami was sitting innocently in his swirly chair -which he thought was the best thing in this stupid task force if you asked him- typing his name into the search engine to find out if he had been elected for this year's Mr. Japan or not.

He had submitted hundreds of photos of himself, posing like a runway model, winking playfully, ruffling his oh-so-perfect hair, covering half his face mysteriously with his precious Death Note, and there was one particular photo –his personal favorite- where he was wearing a black spy costume, eating an apple with its juice dribbling down his chin in a rabid-dog fashion, lying in a pile of feathers he had taken out of his sister's pillow (which he got a black eye for) and batting his eyelashes. It was downright disgusting to say the least.

He was remembering his gorgeous photos when suddenly realized something horrifying.

_Oh crap! Did I just post photos of me with the Death Note? Oh well, at least I look hot, huh! What am I talking about? I'm always hot! I'm a god! I'm the most awesomest guy on this planet! Mwahahahahaha!_

"Light, is there something of trouble to you?" his raven haired rival asked him in a bored tone but he couldn't hide his amusement. He was almost smiling. Almost being the keyword.

Light paused for a moment to see that in the process of thinking how pretty he was, he had stood up on his chair, made a pose that would put a Hollywood diva to shame and voiced his last thoughts in a shout including the evil laugh at the end of his narcissistic speech.

"No! Get back to your work, L!" He exclaimed in disgust, his face turned red with embarrassment.

L narrowed his large panda eyes in suspicion, "nine percent, Light"

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" he screamed.

"That's typical of criminals to say, 10 percent, Kira"

Light's hair electrified and his eyes turned red with fury, "Think of calming words" he closed his eyes and muttered under his breath. "Future Mr. Japan, a god, gorgeous, awesome, me, me, me, me" he reopened his eyes and smiled brightly.

"I'm fine now," he grinned.

"Good for you," L said in mock enthusiasm, throwing his fist in the air for emphasis with the same bored expression on his face and went back to work, a.k.a drooling over desserts on strawberryparadise. com.

A few moments passed in silence when all of a sudden, L's face crinkled in a strange way and his nose moved involuntarily. He made weird noises trying to stifle whatever was coming, but it was too late.

"AAAACHOOOOO!"

Light was startled and spilled his coffee in surprise on his pants, he yelped in pain and jumped out of his chair trying to get rid of the unbearable heat.

"My brand new Prada pants!" he wailed, pointing at his now soaked brand name pants.

"AAAACHOOOOOOO!"

"Oh, shut up, you panda freak"

"It seems like the matter is not in my hands, there's a ninety percent chance that I have a cold. It seems reasonable since I haven't had proper nutrition for the last f…few d….ays….AAACHOOOO" he finished his sentence with another loud sneeze.

"What are you talking about? Just yesterday you swallowed a 3 story strawberry cake, 58 cookies, 7 bags of sugar cubes and 5 tubs worth of coffee!"

L gasped, "You pay too much attention to my food. 11 percent, Li… ACHOOO" he rubbed his temples. "It also seems that I have a splitting headache, Mr. Kira"

Light sighed warily. "We should probably go to a doctor if you don't want to die of a common cold…I know" he said as L opened his mouth to say something. "15 percent for responding to 'Mr. Kira' and mentioning the word 'die'" he said dully, dragging the detective behind him.

"I was going to say 16 percent. Forget it, you're not smart enough to be Kira, or maybe you're playing dumb so you could trick me into thinking you're not Kira!" The percentage is now 20!" he shouted triumphantly, which resulted in a coughing fit.

Light wanted to bang his head on the wall. Repeatedly.

He continued to drag L behind him down the long corridors when his father came up running after them.

"Light!" he paused to take his breath. "Where are you both going, son?"

"L is sick" he explained. "I'm taking him to the doctor's, we won't be long, tell Watari in case he thought I'd kidnapped L, murdered him, thrown his body in the dumpster and set it on fire" _Although the thought if it is so tempting._ He added to himself with a wistful smile on his face. His father stared at him, slightly scared.

"A…alright, don't be late, you have a lot of work to do" Light nodded absently and continued walking, thinking of various ways to kill L without being caught. He let out an enthusiastic giggle every once in a while, which went unnoticed by L since he had fallen asleep out of exhaustion.

He finally reached the ground floor and shoved away the two guards standing by the front door (A/N: hey, that rhymed! Errm, anyway, back to the story) "Make way for the new god, my dear slaves" he flashed them a charming smile, showing his flawless teeth. The guards sighed and fell to the floor. He stepped over the unconscious bodies and dragged the insomniac detective over them (who was also unconscious, there's just too much unconsciousness in this fanfic).

Light raised his carefully manicured hand to call a cab, but no one stopped for him.

_Huh, they're just jealous of my heavenly beauty. _He thought.

He was about to give up and walk to the doctor's when a rainbow colored ice-cream truck with a plastic dog's head between the headlights stopped right in front of him, missing Light's foot with a mere inch. _This is one of the very first times when I wish my beautiful foot was actually squished. _He thought. –Light seems to think too much these days, it's not so healthy for him though, anyway, on with the story-

The driver of the truck turned out to be a crazy Light fan-girl, because she slammed the door open and assaulted Light like a wild, unfed hippogriff, throwing him on the ground, squealing incoherent words like "Kawaii" and "Marry" and dragged him to the truck, slamming him on the passenger's seat while managing to place L's sleeping form in the backseat.

"So where do you want to go, Light-o?" she said in an annoying, high-pitched voice, batting her eyelashes.

_God, she's even more annoying that Misa. _He thought as he mentally face palmed himself.

"Ummm, to Dr. Sunflower's happy clinic, do you possibly know where that is?"

"Suuuure, Light, of course Glitter knows where it is! Now, fasten your seatbelt!" she winked as she revved the engine and started to drive through the busy streets with a horrible screech uncannily similar to her voice. She started to babble, telling him how much she loved him, making plans about their future wedding and telling him that she thought he was prettier than everyone on the planet.

She also kept shouting obscenities at the surrounding drivers, which didn't help, either.

Meanwhile, L's snores got louder and louder, and he began to shout percentages and names of sweets and sneeze every once in a while.

Light's suicidal thoughts increased and he wanted to cut off his ears, he was going to be beautiful even without them anyway.

The ride to the doctor's was long and painful, and it probably added to his already long list of mental disorders.

Finally, Glitter shook him out of his dark thoughts. "Here we are. You're welcome!" she said as she stopped the car with yet another screech and his forehead almost collided with the windshield.

"OH MY GOD!" she screamed right into his ear. "Are you alright, darling?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine" he squeaked, arranging his hair back frantically.

He jumped out of the car, pulled L – who was still sleeping- behind him and ran for his life and what was left of his sanity.

"Don't forget to call Glitter, Lightooooo" she screamed after him.

He laughed nervously and ran to the clinic door without looking back.

As soon as he stepped into the white clinic, Light received many weird looks from the people waiting outside but he was so angry that he growled at anyone who even dared to look his way.

He sat in one of the plushy chairs and let L cuddle on the cold floor like an obedient puppy.

L stirred in his sleep and he slowly opened his eyes "22 percent, Light" he mumbled with half lidded eyes and started snoring again.

Light couldn't do anything but roll his eyes. He tried to pass the time by flicking through the magazines but there wasn't anyone half as pretty as he was, so he just threw them on the nearest table.

The Death Note could have really come in handy at that time.

He tried to dazzle a horrified mother who quickly carried her baby and ran out of the place.

Years seemed to pass when he finally saw the nurse approaching him. "It's your turn now, Mr…."

"Yagami" he filled in for her, not bothering to notice that she almost went blind of winking at him.

He got up and threw L on his shoulder instead of having to drag him again. He marched right into the examination room thingy (A/N: bear with my ignorance :P ) when he saw a middle-aged, blue-haired obese man jump right in front of his face.

"Hello and welcome to Dr. Sappy Sunflower's happy clinic!" he said with a smile stretching from one end of the colorful room to the other. His smile faded slightly as he stared at the creature swung on Light's shoulder. "Is that how you usually carry your child, Mr. Yagami?" he said, the smile returning to his face.

Light sighed in exasperation as he threw L on the bed. "He's not my child, he's my colleague, he's not feeling well and he fell asleep on the way"

"I see," the doctor nodded enthusiastically with a grin plastered on his face. He stopped to look at his patient. "Awww…. Will you look at that? He's adorable!" he exclaimed.

"Ok, time to wake up!" he swung his hand back and slapped L across the face.

Light had to stifle a giggle as L screamed girlishly and bolted into an upright position.

"Good morning, sunshine." Light said with a smirk. L gave him a dark look, and if looks could kill, Light would be dying 50 times in his grave, but unfortunately, they don't, or else stupid Light-I'm-A-Gay would be rotting in hell long before he actually does and my favorite characters would still be alive. *takes deep breath after frustrated speech*

The doctor directed L's attention to him. "Hello, I'm your doctor, I hope we have loads of fun together!" he yelled, stretching out his hand for him.

L looked at the outstretched hand with slight disgust. "I don't do doctors" he deadpanned.

"Feeling down, aren't we? Don't worry, we'll see what's wrong with you and we'll fix you up right away, okay? Now say aaaah…."

"I. Do. Not. Do. Doctors." L repeated his words, this time slowly enough even for Misa to understand.

Dr. Sunflower shook his head disappointedly as he took a deep breath and lunged at L. He forced his mouth open, peering into his throat and shoving a thermometer into his mouth. L spat the thermometer on the ground. "That does _not_ taste good."

"Well, it's _not_ supposed to" Light said sarcastically. "Look, L, if you do what Dr. Sunflower says, I'll give you the biggest chocolate cake you'll ever lay your eyes and teeth on, deal?"

"Bribery, hmmm, very typical of..AAACHOO…very typical of Kira, but I will accept provided that you keep your promise or the percentage will rise for lying"

The doctor sent a grateful look towards Light as he re-inserted the thermometer. When he looked at it he let out a great gasp.

"What? Is he going to die?" Light asked hopefully. "No, he just has a slight fever; I just wanted to gasp for dramatic effect. Gotcha, didn't I?" he giggled.

This time, it was L and Light who sent dark looks in his way.

"Anyway, he also has a cold, so I'll give him a few medications and we'll inject some painkiller for the headache."

L leaped out of the bed and ran to the door only to be blocked by Light. "I don't do needles" he dead-panned in the same monotone for the second time, he really is boring.

"CHOCOLATE CAKE!" Light shouted for distraction as L's eyes clouded with dreams of cake, chocolate, caramel, vanilla, milkshakes, cookies, and this could go on forever, so I'll stop here and just say that he kept thinking of desserts.

"Now!" the doctor stabbed his arm with the needle while L half-growled, half-wailed.

Light threw the money to the still giggling doctor, screamed a thank you and threw L again on his shoulder.

He bolted out the door ignoring the weird looks from people and he miraculously found a cab waiting for him right outside the clinic so he jumped into the car.

The ride home was even worse than the previous ride; for the painkiller had taken effect and L began to sing the alphabet in 27 different languages, screamed along with Britney Spears whatever songs were on the radio while doing the choreography perfectly, and he tried to pluck Light's eyebrows and glue them above his lips to make him a mustache.

He then crawled to the driver's seat and tried to eat the steering wheel, completely convinced it was a donut. And since I'm too lazy to come up with other things that happened, I'll just say that they returned to the task force and the next scene is with them back at their office.

Light tried to ignore L's strange noises as he swirled around in his swirly chair and managed to throw banana peels on Light's laptop. "Calming words, Light" he muttered. "Me, me, me, fabulous, gorgeous me"

"Liiiiiight!" L whined. "Give me a piggy back ride" he begged.

"No!"

"Please!"

"I said no, L… hey! What are you doing? Get off of me!" he said as L ignored his protests and climbed on his back. "Move!" he ordered.

Light submitted and walked around the office with L on his back for a while.

"Put me down, I don't like heights!" L screamed.

Light dropped him to the ground. "Happy now?" he asked in frustration.

"Very" He flashed him an uncharacteristic grin. It made him look more alive than he ever did. Light was almost glad that he got to act like a human being for once, even if it was under the effect of painkillers. *angsty part, how did that get here, I have no idea, blame my schizophrenity (I just made up that word, it sounds funny)*

"Light,"

"What do you want?"

"Please let me braid your hair, it's so pretty"

"Awww, thank you, I always thought I had beautiful hair….what?" his eyes widened as L approached him with an innocent, childish smile on his face. Light tried to protest faintly but it was too late.

Ten minutes later, Light had brown braids with pink bows framing his face, while L was eating ice-cream and admiring his handiwork.

Matsuda was passing by the office when he stopped abruptly, stared at Light for a moment, and fell on the floor laughing, with tears of mirth streaming down his face. When he was able to catch his breath, he called the rest of the task force members, and soon, everyone in the building was laughing at the poor future Mr. Japan. But when L asked if he could braid their hair as well, they all ran away in a matter of seconds.

For the first time that day, Light was happy with something L did.

"Light,"

"WHAT?" he screamed for the gazilionth time.

"Do I have pretty eyelashes?"

"Yes, L, you do"

"Even prettier than yours?"

"Even prettier than…..HA! you thought I was gonna fall for that! Hell, no!"

L's shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Oh, stop looking like a kicked puppy, L" he said. L suddenly fell silent.

_Aaah, finally some peace and quiet._

But he couldn't be more wrong, he felt the chair sliding beneath him and he found himself sitting on the floor and L was cackling like a hyena. This time Light truly gave up and began to rub his sore model-butt.

Two days passed and the effect of the painkiller was gone. L was perfectly sane –or as sane as L could be- and they sat again by their respective offices doing their usual work. Light decided to annoy L just for the sake of it.

"You know, L," Light began. "I'm SO going to use everything you did and said under the effect of the painkiller against you, it'll be so much fun!" he said in a mean-high-school-girl way and he rubbed his hands in glee.

"Blackmail!" L exclaimed. "30 percent now" he said easily and returned to his work.

"I really hate you someti…..AAACHOOOO!" Light put his face in his hands as he himself sneezed.

"Join my club, bro!" L said in an excited monotone (if that's even possible) as he pushed his awesome swirly chair towards Light's and raised his hand for Light to high-five. Light just ignored his hand, the only thought in his brain was _kill me now._

L returned to his place, mumbling a few words that sounded like "rude", "Kira" and "40 percent"

Three long days were definitely awaiting our fabulous future Mr. Japan.

**Whew, finally done with it. Please review, it will mean the world to me, and I'll give you loads of cookies if you want.**

**Thanks for reading **


	2. Confessions Of A Crazy Mass Murderer

**Hey! So, I decided to add another chapter to this where it's Light who's under painkillers.**

**This is gonna be so much fun! (Rubs hands gleefully)**

* * *

><p>An evil smile found its way to L's pale face. He, like the author, started to rub his hands together conspiratorially and he couldn't prevent the evil laughter from escaping his throat. It looks like the painkiller has a long-lasting effect, after all.<p>

But you would do the same if your rival was about to be injected by painkiller after he threatened to use what you said and did under the effect of the fore mentioned drug.

So yeah, the great L was having an evil moment.

More like moments.

"Alright, Light-kun, I will personally drive you to the doctor's, we can't afford to neglect the well-being of our main suspect now, can we?" he said in a soft, smooth voice, like the voice of a villain in a Disney movie.

Light tried to shake his head, but he ended up almost breaking his neck when he gasped and sneezed right into L's face.

L drew his face back and took out a napkin out of his jeans pocket. He wiped the snoot from his face in obvious disgust. He closed his eyes for a moment to calm himself down and he smiled a crazed smile as he reopened them.

He jerked his arm –the one connected to Light's- and he forced the brunette to be dragged behind him on the cold floor, ignoring his protests , screams and threats of shoving vegetables down his throat everyday until they both die.

He pressed a button on the intercom as he spoke into a microphone, "Watari, Light-kun is ill and I'm taking him to the doctor's, please inform Soichiro the rest of the task force members"

The reply was immediate as L and Light heard Watari shout and clap repeatedly "that should teach the arrogant brat, take your revenge, my son. Who's laughing now, you narcissistic idiot of a suspect?"

L pressed the button again, trying desperately to hide his smirk. "My dearest Watari, I suggest you decrease your consumption of caffeine, it's not good for your health"

"SIR YES SIR!" the elderly man screamed. L could hear the squeak of a swivel chair rolling and swirling round Watari's room.

L proceeded to drag the "narcissistic idiot of a suspect" behind him, until he reached the elevator and presses on the button. He whistled an annoying tone all the way to the ground floor. He got out of the elevator, walking a few steps towards the left, and reaching the huge garage.

"Chocolate Soufflés" he spoke clearly and the garage door opened immediately. A dreamy smile crossed his face as he thought of swimming in heavenly soufflés. Our favorite panda shook his shaggy head to focus on his mission.

He chose a red car (because it reminded him of strawberries, obviously). He shuffled towards it, opening the door, throwing Light into the passenger's seat and he climbed over him to reach the driver's seat.

"Light-kun, say what could be your final prayers because I have no idea how to operate this machine" he said calmly, moving random objects (A/N: don't expect me to know much about cars, I'm 15 and my parents won't let me learn how to drive, OKAY? Jeez…)

Light's amber eyes widened and he couldn't form coherent words, he just wailed and shook his head in all directions, slamming his hand hard on the tableau and trying to kick L in the face, who managed to dodge the poor guy's attempts at an attack.

L clumsily shoved the key and revved the car to life. It started to move slowly when it suddenly jumped and started to make strange noises. Light screamed girlishly and covered his face with his sleeve.

"Sorry about that," L said sheepishly. It took a few more tries from L and a few more nervous breakdowns from Light before the car could move normally.

"This is not so hard after all, I don't know why people make a fuss about it," L mused, barely missing a school bus at the last second.

A few more near death experiences, and again, a lot more nervous breakdowns from Light, and they arrived to the clinic.

L climbed (again) over Light, getting out of the car, pulling Light forcefully and he slammed the door on his foot (yeah, the same one that almost got squished in the last chapter, poor feet, always mistreated.) If it wasn't for Light's pained moans, he wouldn't have noticed. He sighed, reopening the door and he yanked Light's foot, slamming the door again.

He carried Light monkey-style and ran into the clinic, of course they were both too tall for the door, so Light's head collided with the tip of the door.

It wasn't his day; actually, everyday wasn't his day. Poor Mr. Japan.

L barged into the door of the examination room thingy ( A/N: I still haven't figured out the name, sorry) not even bothering to knock or check if someone was already inside.

Fortunately there wasn't any one other than our favourite green-haired doctor. Wait…wasn't he blue-haired? Don't worry, I don't have amnesia.

"Dr. Sappy Sunshine?" L asked unsurely.

"No my dear boy, I'm Dr. Crappy Sunshine! His younger brother! We are going to have so much fun together! Yaaaaaay!" he clapped his hands together, jumping up and down.

"I'm sure we will." L said with an evil smile creeping up his face.

He threw Light on the floor, flexing his muscles from carrying something so heavy on his back and pointing to the lump "Examine him, please" he said politely.

Dr. Crappy dropped to his knees and shoved a thermometer into his mouth. After two minutes he took it out and shook his head in sorrow.

"What? Is Light-kun going to die?" he asked.

"No," he smiled brightly. "I just remembered that my goldfish died a week ago, she was my best friend, we did everything together. Until that one fateful plane crash," he sniffed. "However, your friend is as alive as a street pig"

L was about to ask him what street pigs were but he decided against it.

"Is he going to need painkillers?" he asked hopefully.

The doctor nodded excitedly "Yes, indeed!"

Light was unaware of anything around him at that point and he had lost his voice wailing and screaming over L's driving skills, that he didn't respond to being stabbed with a needle by a green-haired doctor named Crappy.

There was a lot of kicking and screaming, but Light was eventually full to the brim with the awesome drug.

"Now all he needs is the drugs I wrote and some rest" he said brightly.

"Thank you Dr. Crappy" L struggled to say with a straight face. He handed him the money and ran out of the clinic, jumping into his car and making the tyres screech as he presses hard on the gas.

Nothing fun happened during the ride, Light was still passed out.

An hour later, they were back at the headquarters.

There was a crashing sound. Scratch that, there was a very loud crashing sound and high-pitched shrieks could be heard ringing through the halls of the building.

Who did they belong to, you ask?

Aizawa.

As in Death Note's Aizawa.

"Get off me, you freak" Aizawa squealed. (Never thought Aizawa would squeal, huh? Neither did I, That's why it's called a crack-fic, though)

Light clung onto Aizawa's leg as the latter one tried to shake him off with all his might.

"But I need your luuuuurv" Light purred.

Everyone's heads whipped to Soichiro's direction questioningly. "My son is NOT gay!" he said defensively, trying to explain his sudden crush on the afro man.

"Mr. Yagami is correct, he's just under the effect of drugs, just like I was the previous time" he said monotonously.

Meanwhile, Light had let go of Aizawa, and started to gnaw on one of the keyboards.

"Bad doggie!" L exclaimed as he walked towards him, he yanked the keyboard from his teeth and sat on the swivel chair in front of the computer. His eyes widened when he saw an e-mail alert. L clicked on it, ran his eyes on the words quickly and he shifted his eyes to Light.

"Congratulations, Light-kun, you've been selected as one of the competitors for the Mr. Japan contest. Your interview is in an hour," he said, not betraying any signs of emotion.

Every single person in the room face palmed. Except for L, because he's too epic for a normal gesture like that, and Light, because he was currently sliding across the floor, waving around one of his shoes and shouting "FOR NARNIA!"

An hour later….

People -mainly girls- were screaming their throats out (seriously, these obsessive fan girls bring shame upon our species) as the show presenter announced Light's name.

Soon, they turned into screams of horror as they saw their "idol's" tongue dangling from his mouth and being dragged by a human raccoon.

The presenter's fake smile faltered "Is Light-k…"

"Light-kun is a bit ill," L interrupted her in a monotone. "He will do the interview and return to his house for rest"

"And you are…?" she asked in disgust.

"Hideki Ryuuga, his colleague." He answered.

"Alright then, take a seat, please and let's begin our interview!" she regained her enthusiasm.

L sat on the floor while he threw Light on the plushy chair. The presenter tried to hand Light a microphone, she succeeded after he had licked both her hands and tugged at her pigtails until one of them was torn from her scalp.

She hyperventilated for a few moments "Okay then, Light, How do you feel now that you've been picked?"

Light opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue, trying to lick his elbow. "umm, uhh, like a happy flying mutant rainbow donkey" he laid back in his seat and smiled smugly, convinced it was the perfect answer.

"ehhh, okay!" she said unsurely. "Have you thought of the clothes you're going to present at the show?"

At that he cackled, making her flinch. "Suuure, I'll present donuts, lolita dresses, batman's costume, and a carnival costume" he lowered his voice down to a whisper "Let's keep this between me and you, though, we don't want anyone else to know"

"We're on national television" she deadpanned. (L's deadpanning turned out to be contagious, beware of it)

"Anyway, what do you think ab…."

Light jumped from the chair and threw himself at the audience, shouting a battle cry, no one was prepared though, and he dropped face-first on the wooden floor.

"I'm fine," he shouted, lifting his arm. He ran to his chair and plopped on it. When he had calmed down, he raised an eyebrow "Hey, there, wanna get married?" he said, getting closer to the presenter. His charm would have worked if the fall hadn't twisted his nose to the right side of his face. It also would have helped if he hadn't fallen from the chair and landed on L.

"Ow." L said with a poker face.

Light rolled over away from L and readjusted himself on the chair, this time, not trying to be charming, he just acted like his retarded self.

"Describe yourself; we want to get to know you"

"I'm awesome, amazing, purrrfect, and so very beautiful, I'm also a good climber, swimmer, a great football, soccer, volleyball, basketball, tennis, dress up, black ops player, I give THE most perfect manicures and I can braid hair like a devil," he counted on his fingers. "OOH! OOOH! I almost forgot that one! I'm Kira!"

At that word, people ran all over the place and screamed pointlessly like the retards they are, throwing chairs at each other and someone shouted "I love you, Kira darlin'" horrifically, the voice belonged to a male.

L's eyes shifted very slowly to Light as he stood proudly, throwing his fist in the air and shouting at the top of his lungs "I AM KIRA! YEAH, BEAT THAT!" over and over again.

L took out his phone from his pocket, held it between two fingers and dialed a number, hardly containing his evil cackles. "Hehehehehe…umm..the Interpol? Yes, I would like to tell you, that I'm L and I just caught Kira" he waited for a few seconds. "No, this is not a joke you son of a vegetable….…thank you" he finished politely.

Police sirens could be heard in a matter of 2 minutes, six men jumped out of the car and lunged at Light, wrapping him in a prison suit and throwing him into the car.

"You will regret it when I become a wizard and eat all your stupid cars!" he screamed. "The great Kira will kill all your pets, just wait for my payback" he waved his fist around.

The cars drove away, leaving a frozen preppy show presenter and a weeping audience.

"It's a shame such beauty is going to be locked up in prison" the presenter sniffled.

L jumped right in front of her.

"I am L," he whispered with his big eyes wider that they already are.

The poor woman let out a string of choked incoherent thoughts and dropped to the ground. A girl from the crowd snatched the microphone away from her hands, running towards the camera.

"Hi, I'm Glitter! How about we make an interview with you, Mr. L?" she batted her eyelashes at him.

L shrugged "Sure, I get cake, though; I don't do interviews for free"

To sum up what happened then, my dear readers, Glitter found another person to fangirl over, L got a lifetime supply of cake and caught Kira as a bonus, Watari became a cheerleader for L, Matsuda started to work for the circus as one of the lions and Soichiro…well his ending wasn't so happy as he jumped off a building because he found out his only son was Kira.

Dr. Sappy and Dr. Crappy became the most popular doctors in the world but they became jealous of each other and Dr. Crappy killed Dr. Sappy.

The effect of painkillers never wore off of Light, and he eventually became a schizophrenic paranoid autistic prisoner.

And that, my friends, is how a simple common cold saved the world from the crazy mass-murderer called Kira.

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry, guys, I added this chapter to the other fanfic by mistake two days ago, so I'm adding it now because that's the one which is supposed to have both chapters :D**


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